My Coffee with Dia

(Kind of Like "My Dinner with Andre" but with just coffee and a Chickenpurse)

Anyone who has read this blog (there has to be someone!) knows of my admiration for Dia Zerva: wrestler, erotic performer, clipstore maven, chickenpurse lover, and all-around babe. This admiration has always been from afar - Dia lives in Las Vegas and most of the companies she works with are in the west. I tend to stay on the east coast with occasional business trips. As much as I would have liked to meet her, the odds of doing so seemed extremely slim.

The first inking that there was a possibility was a tweet she sent out in November:

Dia: Morning! Boston rain is lovely & heading to NYC to do sessions with my bud @RachelFights ! We have some times available:)

Excuse me?

Me: @DiaZerva You were in BOSTON!?!?!

Dia:  @BBVinny yup all work and no play

Me: @DiaZerva I wish I had known! I'd have brought you some cannoli or something :(

While missing this opportunity was disappointing, it raised a glimmer of hope - she came to Boston once, maybe she would again. In December, my hopes were realized:

Dia: @BBVinny cheers mate! Will be in Boston In February!

Me: @DiaZerva Coming to Boston? YAY!!! In February???? Bring boots! (the ones for snow - not just the stomping kind ;) ) 

Me: @DiaZerva February? That means I only have less than two months to clean the state up!

Dia: @BBVinny and cannolis!:p

She remembered the cannolis! She wanted to meet me! To say I was psyched was putting it mildly. It took some effort not to jump up and down while I was reading.

Of course the path to achieving one's desires is never smooth. I was prescient about my boots comment - Boston had over 70 inches of snow in January, which at times brought the city to a standstill. I started worrying about travel.

Me: @DiaZerva I'm beginning to wonder if Boston will be accessible when you come here :(

Dia: @BBVinny I heard there are snow monsters out that way! You think it will clear up end of next week?

Me: @DiaZerva I will dig out all of Boston with a teaspoon if that helps you get here! ;)

Dia: @BBVinny haha awesome! Well please keep me posted if you don't mind! I'm looking forward to Boston!

Me: @DiaZerva BBV Weather Services at your command ;)

I truly believe I held off any more major Boston snowstorms from that point on through sheer willpower. Finally the day came when she arrived in Boston. I sent her a tweet:

@DiaZerva So, how do I get you cannolis? ;)

No response. Nothing. Nada. Was it something I said? Did she google my name and find some other BBVinny on a police blotter? The reason was actually pretty simple:

Dia: Sorry cookies! Busy next couple days so if I don't reply to your twitter post, you're not forgotten! Muah!!!

There was nothing I could really do about it. She was in town on business and I wouldn't want to interfere with that. I tried to put my best face on it.

Me: @DiaZerva Oh well, I guess cannolis will have to be some other time :( I hope you are having some fun in Boston despite being so busy :)  

I was disappointed - this was the second time Dia was in town and I wasn't able to even say "hi" to her. Then I got the following DM from her:

I haven't left my hotel room since I landed yesterday morning lol. I take a train out 8:40am if you wanna meet at 6am? :( working til 11pm

Holy freaking smoke! She really wanted to meet me? She was obviously suffering from sleep deprivation. Before she came to her senses, I sent her a message saying that I'd drive her to the train station. So that was why at 6:00 on a Saturday morning rather than being asleep I was sitting in a hotel lobby trying very hard not to look like a creep.

I admit that as I sat there I started getting worried. Was I a creep? Was she going to take one look at me and run? I had an image of Dia based on her blog, her YouTube posts, and our tweets. I wondered if I built her up too much in my mind.

I am happy to say that my fears were unfounded. In the Boston vernacular, Dia Zerva is a WICKED AWESOME person!

First of all, Dia is as pretty and sexy in person as she appears in her work. She was dressed in a knit dress/tights outfit (with very stylish accessories - not that I know anything about that) that had me using all my maturity and suaveness not to shout "YOWZA!!!"

She is a very cheerful person. She smiled almost the entire time we were together, even though she was very tired from all the hours she had put in. She charmed everyone she spoke to: front desk people, redcaps, and of course me.

She is a hugger - I got one when we met and another when she left. As a fellow hugger it was greatly appreciated! To paraphrase Kasper Gutman in The Maltese Falcon: I am a man who likes hugging someone  who likes to hug.

I also met the famous chickenpurse (if you do not know what I am talking about you are not a true fan). Pictures do not do it justice.

Dia was in what she is calling her gypsy period - crisscrossing the country and Europe for several months working. Because of this, she had slightly less luggage than Hannibal did when he crossed the Alps. The amount is understandable because she was not only carrying the clothes she would need for all that time but also her work outfits, the equipment she needs to hold sessions, shoot and edit clips, etc. (I'd love to watch the HSA examine some of THAT stuff).  Fortunately, my car has a large trunk so there was no problem loading it all in.

When we got to the station we got coffee (Dia bought) and sat and talked. It was like talking to someone I had known for years. We talked about our lives, people we knew (a shout out to our Taki), work, travel, etc. I want to emphasize something:  Dia really didn't know me. She had no obligation to meet me. She was tired from working long hours and getting up early to catch a train. Yet she made the effort to meet me before she left. That is the kind of person she is.

When she finally left to get on board the train, five minutes later I wished she was back. I don't know if I will ever see her again - I hope I do - but I am extremely happy to have met her.

Oh, she also punched me in the arm - DAMN, she's strong!

For a Dirty Old Man I'm Such an Old Lady (and I don't mean tranny)

I worry about the ladies in the sex industry.

In a previous post, I mentioned that I follow and exchange tweets with a number of women who are involved in the sex/porn industry. While I cannot make generalities about the entire industry, my interactions have shown them to be intelligent, personable, hard working people trying to live life as best they can. (What profession can claim that every member is an "upstanding individual"?). As someone who has looked at a lot of porn, I can't help but hear about the problems that some of the stars have gone through. I worry that those I follow and whose work I have enjoyed could be affected by these influences.

And yes, I am being sexist. I do not include men in my concern because I would expect them to be less endangered. It's the way I am - sue me.

The sex industry in general is looked down upon by large segments of this society. There is a stigma of sleaziness and (for some) criminality applied to the women who work in it. Once identified as an "escort", "porn star" etc., the label stays forever. You don't always see entertainers, sports figures, and other walks of life always identified by what they do (i.e. Madonna, George Clooney, Angelina Jolie, etc.) but it will always be "Porn Star Jenna Jameson". It is hard for anyone to cope with the world when that world is predisposed to judge him or her as inherently bad.

[BTW - I can't stand how sexual content is ostracized but extreme forms of violence are accepted. In film if you show a penis getting mangled it has an "R" rating, but if you show an erect penis: automatic "NC-17"! (Or "XXX" depending on what one does with it) Why is society so paranoid about a natural biological function that is necessary for the continuation of the human race? I think the world would be better if we taught kids how to fuck instead of how to kill.]


I don't need to go into the dangers of AIDS and STD's in an industry based in sex. While there are a lot more safeguards in place today than there were before, no prevention ever 100% effective. There are even reasons for not using condoms in productions (I have read that they cause irritation during long sex scenes shoots and that the buying public prefers to not see them). Most performers get tested monthly and I am sure that each testing period is stressful .

[Another BTW - If you care about what happens to the people in this industry you might consider donating to the Adult Industry Medical Healthcare Foundation (AIM) , a non-profit corporation dedicated to the well-being of sex and adult industry workers. The Bill Gates Foundation and the Pugh Charitable Trust probably aren't donating - maybe you should.]


Some of the people I follow also act as escorts - these are the people I worry about most. Aside from it being illegal, escorts have the potential of putting themselves into harm's way. When you are a performer, you are usually dealing with someone you have worked with before or you know someone who has worked with him/her. Escorting puts you in contact with strangers - any one of which could be dangerous. While the women I follow say they screen their clients, as I've said before nothing is perfect. I live in Boston, so I am quite familiar with the Craigslist Killer - a man who robbed and eventually killed escorts he found on Craigslist. I can't help but think of him whenever I see a tweet about escorting.

If you think I'm exaggerating all this in order to make this entry more dramatic, go to this web site and count the number of deaths due to AIDS, drug use, suicide. and violence. I don't know if these problems occur at a higher rate for sex performers, but it sure seems like it.

It takes an emotionally strong person to be part of the sex industry. They have to handle all the issues I've mentioned and be able to live their lives. All of the women I follow seem to have strong emotional support - husbands, boyfriends, families, and friends (including each other). They seem to be coping with and even thriving in the sex industry.

But it doesn't stop me from worrying about them.