It may be hard for you to believe, but when I was in my twenties I would go to strip clubs. It wasn’t a regular thing for me - I went with friends about 4-6 times a year (more if there was a bachelor party that year).This occurred in the late seventies/early eighties. Strip clubs were much “simpler” back then: women danced near a pole, men threw money on the stage or tucked it in their g-strings. Simple.
(Side note: my friend P and I once drove over 50 miles from where we lived to see Rhonda Jo Petty dance - worth every drop of gas we used)
Towards the end of that period, P came back from a business trip to Montreal and told me about this fantastic strip club, Club Super Sexe (it’s still there!) where they did something called private dances - a woman would bring a small stage to where you were seated and dance JUST FOR YOU! What a concept!
It was years later before I actually experienced it during a bachelor party at a club I had never been to before. When we entered the club the first thing I noticed was that we were seated much further from the stage than I was used to. We went upstairs to a balcony area where the chairs were in a row up against the wall rather than at a table. Soon after we sat down there were these women in skimpy costumes walking from chair to chair asking if the guy wanted to buy a dance for $10. My friend P (same one - he was at most of my strip club forays) bought me a dance from a blond dancer. She stood right in front me undulating and taking off her clothes.
It made me very uncomfortable. She was young and still had that “baby fat” look teens have just before maturity fully kicked in. The idea that she was in some way “bought for me” bothered me. When she finished I gave her another $10 because I wanted the “ownership” of the dance. I did not get another dance and was disconcerted the rest of the evening.
I did not go to another club for a long time. During my hiatus I heard of something else I hadn’t known about: lap dances. I was watching a news program when a story came on about an effort to crack down on lap dances in NYC. Part of the story was a demonstration of what a lap dance was, done by a clothed stripper. I was shocked! A woman rubbing her ass into your crotch? What if you got an erection? What if you (OMG) came? Wouldn’t your clothes get all messy? How could you go through the rest of the night with your underwear filled with spunk?
I couldn’t see myself getting a lap dance at all. I was going through one of my dry spells (I’ve had more dry spells than the Sahara) so I knew if a woman so much as touched my thigh I’d go off. Also, I had seen “Showgirls” - I definitely didn’t want that kind of activity performed on top of me. I pretty much figured my time at strip clubs were over.
Until my business trip to Dallas.
In the late 90’s I was working for a company that had just bought another company in Dallas. I was part of the team that had to merge the two companies’ computer systems. Around five people - including myself, my boss and my boss’s boss - went down to Dallas to start analyzing what had to be done.
The company division I worked in was like a locker room. There was a lot of talk about drinking and sex: who in the office you would do, guys sexual orientation, discussion/acquisition of porn, etc. It was the kind of place you would study to write a manual about inappropriate behavior at the workplace (side note: most of this talk occurred behind closed doors. I have NEVER harassed a woman nor made them feel uncomfortable. I flirt, but I have told every woman I have flirted with I would stop immediately and never bother her again if I ever made them uncomfortable. Not one ever did). So I was not surprised that one night during the trip my boss’s boss wanted to go to a strip club. Everyone from the group I was traveling with and some of guys from the Dallas office agreed to go. While I wasn’t really interested in going, I also didn’t want to be the only person who didn’t. I figured I’d just stay in the background and let the other drink and do whatever.
We all went out to dinner and drinks and after getting properly lubricated we went a club called BabyDolls (still there). When we arrived I was struck by how large it was - much larger than any club I had been to in Massachusetts. The parking lot was full - surprising as it was a work night (Texans must like their beef and their babes). We went to the entrance where two HUGE guys were collecting cover charges. After we paid we walked through black velvet curtains....
... and I cannot begin to tell you how fast my jaw dropped. It had been a while, but I thought I knew what the inside of a strip club looked like. The interior of BabyDolls seemed as big as an airplane hanger. There were several stages with women dancing on them, a bar that pretty much went the length of the room, strobe lights, loud music, and wall-to-wall people. I was pretty much close to sensory overload when I realized that my group was walking through a doorway. I followed them and had my second jaw-dropping moment.
The second room was smaller than the first, but was still bigger than any strip club I had ever been in. The lights were low but you could still see well enough to make out what was in the room. There was music playing, but nowhere near as loud as the first room. There were no stages, only tables that practically filled the room. The tables were of varying sizes and each seemed completely occupied. My eyes adjusted to the light and I was able to see more clearly.
That’s when I saw the women.
There has to be somewhere between 50 to 100 women walking around or sitting at the tables. Some wore sequenced stripper outfits. Some had on just a thong bikini. Some had on kimonos, silk robes, etc. Blonds, brunettes, Asians, blacks, Hispanics, short, tall, long hair, short hair - the whole range. What they all had in common was they were beautiful and they were giving men lap dances.
Somehow my boss’s boss found an empty table near a wall. We made our way to it through the crowd and ordered some beers. I was then able to observe how the lap dance process worked. The walking women would come up to a man sitting next to an empty chair and ask if he would like some company. If he did, she would sit down with him. They would talk for a while - she would always manage to hold his hand or touch him during the conversation. At some point she would ask him if he wanted a dance. She would then take off most of her clothes and give him one - either back to front or face to face. If he wasn’t comfortable doing it at the table, she could lead him to a more secluded spot in the back of the room.
My boss and my boss’s boss soon each had a lovely lady sitting next to them. I was of two minds about the situation. On the one hand I still had strong doubts about my ability to survive a lap dance (getting all spunky in front of your boss is probably not a good idea). On the other hand there were a lot of pretty women around and I enjoy talking to pretty women. I’d pay for a dance (that was their livelihood after all) but only talk. I was still debating with myself whether or not to do it when I happened to look over at another table. What I saw made up my mind for me.
She was tall and thin and as elegant as a woman can be standing in nothing but a sequenced thong bikini. Her hair was cut very short. She was probably a dancer as she had very nice muscle definition. Her breasts were perfect for her body - not small but not overpowering. All in all, one of the most beautiful, sexy women I had ever seen in a strip club.
He was fat. I’m not talking overweight; I mean obese. He couldn’t sit up straight in his chair. He sort of reclined back as if gravity pulled on him more than other people. He had short black hair, glasses, and a mustache. His neck was one gigantic chin resembling a bullfrog in mid-croak. I was too far away to see it, but I knew he was sweating. He reminded me of Jabba the Hut. In any other situation I would have tried very hard not to look at him. However, he was getting a lap dance from the tall stripper.
She was very sexy as she danced and swayed before the fat man. As she danced she reached up and unclasped the front of her bra, freeing her breasts. She stepped forward, put her hands on his knees and did a series of squats, shaking her breasts at him and swinging her hips. She then laid on top of him face to face (as he had no discernible lap). She undulated on him with her face close to his. I could see her ass making small thrusts into him.
I was nauseated. It was one of the most vile sights I had ever seen. I couldn’t see anyone wanting to be in the same room as that man, let alone be almost naked on top of him. How could she do such a thing? Then I remembered it was her job. She was getting paid to be on top of him (I hoped she was getting much more than her usual amount). My emotions changed from pity for her to anger at him. I was positive if it wasn’t her job, she wouldn’t go near that pile of sweating blubber. How DARE he subject that woman to his disgusting self? And then, as is my wont, I thought “How am I any different from him?”
I had an almost physical reaction to that thought. There was no doubt in my mind that the woman had to be bothered being on top of that man. She did it because that was how she made a living. There were probably things she would not do, but she would do generally unpleasant things to earn her money. In my mind, a good person would not subject a woman to things she would not like. Therefore, how could I ask any stripper to be near me given the possibility that ordinarily she would not want to be near me? The answer was obvious: I couldn’t.
I practically jumped up from the table. I spent the rest of the evening walking around the building, not making eye contact with any dancer. I haven’t been to a strip club since that night.
So, why have I told this story? As I have mentioned in previous entries, I exchange tweets with a number of women in the adult industry. Occasional they post links to pictures of conventions, expos, and the like they attend. Some of these links are their own, some are from other attendees. Occasionally there with be a picture of the woman with a fan, who seems more often than not to be an overweight, hairy guy. Like the Texas Jabba the Hut. Like yours truly.
This is why no matter how friendly I become with any of the ladies I follow, I probably will never meet them nor try to.
I don’t want to be Jabba the Hut.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
We interupt our soul searching for an important announcement:
DIA ZERVA WON THE 2010 ULTIMATE SURRENDER SUMMER VENGEANCE ELIMINATION CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOOT!! WOOT!! WOOT!! WOOT!!!!
ALL HAIL THE CHAMPION!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
My Paean to Dia Zerva
This may be the first in a series of blogs about my favorite people in the adult industry (yes, it will be mostly women - you know me so well). I say "may" because the frequency that I seem to blog and the number of things I still have to say about myself might prevent me from writing another individual-based blog for a long time. If that is the case, I wanted to be sure that I did devote one entry to the first woman I ever followed in Twitter and who was one of my inspirations to start this blog: Dia Zerva.
For those of you who have read some of my earlier entries, you may remember that when I was very young I had a thing about women wrestlers - specifically women in very little clothing wrestling each other. This "fetish" (for lack of a better term) has stayed with me all my life. Growing up, the only real source I had was the Saturday morning wrestling programs. Unfortunately, this was during the time that women wrestlers looked more like cafeteria ladies than models. Things got a bit better as time went on (a shout out to Wendy Ricter and GLOW), but still had a long way to go.
The creation of the internet came to my rescue. Through Yahoo I found such sites as Joan Wise (where I first discovered face sitting) Steel Kittens, Golden Girls and others. Not only were these ladies scantily clad, but occasionally a top and/or bottom would come off. While these were good, it wasn't quite what I wanted. It was obvious a lot of the women weren't really wrestlers, which I discovered actually mattered to me.
As time went on and the internet "matured" (and I didn't) I began finding sites that would show clips from pay sites to try to draw potential customers. While perusing these, I found Ultimate Surrender. The basic premise of the site is this: women in bikinis would wrestle each other. During the fight they would try to remove each other's clothing and molest their opponent while still working on submission holds. At the end of the match, the winner uses a strap-on (and sometimes a vibrator) on the loser.
Basically, it was MY kind of a site!
I watched many of the clips and was quite impressed with the ferocity of the wrestling and the sex at the end. This was definitely something worth looking into. I watched a few in their entirety and was equally impressed. One day, I saw a link to a match between Annie Cruz (whom I had seen before) and someone named Dia Zerva. Her name intrigued me; what does a Dia Zerva look like? So, I checked her out:
Height - Average (OK)
Hair - Blond (Good)
Boobs - Natural (Nice)
Body - Athletic (Very Nice)
Looks - Very Pretty (Oh Yes)
Overall Evaluation - Definitely Worth Watching
The start of the video was pretty much the same as all the other US films - smack talk and promises of sexual assault. Then the match started.
And Dia Zerva ate Annie Cruz alive.
It was no contest. Dia threw Annie around like a rag doll, stripped her naked, and had her way with her. She fingered Annie until she squirted, rubbed her pussy in Annie's face, and didn't lose a point to her. During the match Dia got sweaty - a definite plus for me. Dia was getting better and better in my eyes. During the final scene Dia fucked her silly with a strap-on. There was one or two moments that was a little extreme, such as when Dia made Annie lick the floor. At the very end she grabbed Annie by the hair and ran her into a wall - again a touch more than I expected but not too much.
And then Dia picked Annie up, threw her over her shoulder and carried her off.
Now I really need to make sure you fully appreciate that moment.
A NAKED SWEATY SEXY BLOND WOMAN WRESTLED ANOTHER NAKED SEXY WOMAN, FUCKED HER WITH A STRAP-ON AND CARRIED HER OTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!
Nudity, wrestling, lesbianism, strap-ons, sweat and OTS carrying! So many of my favorite things personified in a single woman! I had a brain orgasm! (All the pleasure, none of the stickiness)
There are things that occur in your life that become permanently etched in your mind. I can still see Neil Armstrong jumping off that last ladder rung onto the lunar surface. I can still see Larry Bird getting his own rebound and shooting a basket as he was going out of bounds behind the backboard. I can still see the crowd on the National Mall as President Obama was sworn in. And I can still see a naked Dia Zerva carrying a naked Annie Cruz over her shoulder. This image will never leave me. Dia Zerva is now a part of my core memories. I will be able to pull this image up on my death bed so I can die happy.
I have become quite a fan of Dia's since that day. I have seen her beat a number of other women and carry them off (sometimes to have sex in the bathroom). I have watched her lose - which I still cannot believe! (I want a recount!) I have watched her have sex with both men and women (mostly women). When she orgasms, she utters this unique cry/whine/tremolo combination. Years ago, Harley Davidson tried to copyright the sounds of their motorcycle. Dia should look into copyrighting her orgasm.
A consequence of following Dia has been a deeper introduction to the BDSM side of the adult industry. Dia has made a number of videos in this field. I have watched her in both the top and bottom roles. I have seen her tied, whipped, clamped, drowned, shocked, and buried. I cannot say I am entirely comfortable with some of the scenes she has done, but these have shown me how truly strong she is. The control of a BDSM scene belongs to the bottom - he/she can stop it at any time. Her endurance has impressed the hell out of me. I know I am nowhere near as strong as she is.
When I learned she had a Twitter account, I went to check it out (hey, I may be in my 50's but I'm "hep"). She protects her tweets, so the only way I could look at them was to sign up and ask her. This is the reason why I have a Twitter account (if you look at my account, you will see that she is the first person I ever followed). From reading her tweets I have learned that she is smart, sexy, warm, funny, loyal to her friends, a hard worker, and strangely addicted to taking pictures of a chickenpurse. I consider myself quite fortunate that, although she has over 3200 followers, she will reply to some of the tweets I send her.
Now I don't want you to think I'm some kind of crazed fan/stalker. I just appreciate Dia and enjoy her as a performer and as a person. It's not like I know where she lives (Las Vegas) or the strip club she works at occasionally (Talk of the Town) or some of her earlier careers (marine, musician, waitress in college, graphic designer, office manager, mortgage broker, organizer), or what she takes classes in (Pole dancing, Brazilian Jujitsu). I mean, if I was obsessed I would know what musical instrument she played (french horn), the names of some of her friends (Wenona, Ariel X, Tomiko, Sarah Blake, Paris Kennedy), her "Boo" (Wordman) or even her six cats (Sully, TC, Mozart, Dealer, Hunter and Mitzy). Heck, I would even know the name of her biggest fan in Japan (Takiko).
At least I don't think I am.
BTW - Dia Zerva can be found here. If you don't know her, go check her out (you can thank me later).
For those of you who have read some of my earlier entries, you may remember that when I was very young I had a thing about women wrestlers - specifically women in very little clothing wrestling each other. This "fetish" (for lack of a better term) has stayed with me all my life. Growing up, the only real source I had was the Saturday morning wrestling programs. Unfortunately, this was during the time that women wrestlers looked more like cafeteria ladies than models. Things got a bit better as time went on (a shout out to Wendy Ricter and GLOW), but still had a long way to go.
The creation of the internet came to my rescue. Through Yahoo I found such sites as Joan Wise (where I first discovered face sitting) Steel Kittens, Golden Girls and others. Not only were these ladies scantily clad, but occasionally a top and/or bottom would come off. While these were good, it wasn't quite what I wanted. It was obvious a lot of the women weren't really wrestlers, which I discovered actually mattered to me.
As time went on and the internet "matured" (and I didn't) I began finding sites that would show clips from pay sites to try to draw potential customers. While perusing these, I found Ultimate Surrender. The basic premise of the site is this: women in bikinis would wrestle each other. During the fight they would try to remove each other's clothing and molest their opponent while still working on submission holds. At the end of the match, the winner uses a strap-on (and sometimes a vibrator) on the loser.
Basically, it was MY kind of a site!
I watched many of the clips and was quite impressed with the ferocity of the wrestling and the sex at the end. This was definitely something worth looking into. I watched a few in their entirety and was equally impressed. One day, I saw a link to a match between Annie Cruz (whom I had seen before) and someone named Dia Zerva. Her name intrigued me; what does a Dia Zerva look like? So, I checked her out:
Height - Average (OK)
Hair - Blond (Good)
Boobs - Natural (Nice)
Body - Athletic (Very Nice)
Looks - Very Pretty (Oh Yes)
Overall Evaluation - Definitely Worth Watching
The start of the video was pretty much the same as all the other US films - smack talk and promises of sexual assault. Then the match started.
And Dia Zerva ate Annie Cruz alive.
It was no contest. Dia threw Annie around like a rag doll, stripped her naked, and had her way with her. She fingered Annie until she squirted, rubbed her pussy in Annie's face, and didn't lose a point to her. During the match Dia got sweaty - a definite plus for me. Dia was getting better and better in my eyes. During the final scene Dia fucked her silly with a strap-on. There was one or two moments that was a little extreme, such as when Dia made Annie lick the floor. At the very end she grabbed Annie by the hair and ran her into a wall - again a touch more than I expected but not too much.
And then Dia picked Annie up, threw her over her shoulder and carried her off.
Now I really need to make sure you fully appreciate that moment.
A NAKED SWEATY SEXY BLOND WOMAN WRESTLED ANOTHER NAKED SEXY WOMAN, FUCKED HER WITH A STRAP-ON AND CARRIED HER OTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!
Nudity, wrestling, lesbianism, strap-ons, sweat and OTS carrying! So many of my favorite things personified in a single woman! I had a brain orgasm! (All the pleasure, none of the stickiness)
There are things that occur in your life that become permanently etched in your mind. I can still see Neil Armstrong jumping off that last ladder rung onto the lunar surface. I can still see Larry Bird getting his own rebound and shooting a basket as he was going out of bounds behind the backboard. I can still see the crowd on the National Mall as President Obama was sworn in. And I can still see a naked Dia Zerva carrying a naked Annie Cruz over her shoulder. This image will never leave me. Dia Zerva is now a part of my core memories. I will be able to pull this image up on my death bed so I can die happy.
I have become quite a fan of Dia's since that day. I have seen her beat a number of other women and carry them off (sometimes to have sex in the bathroom). I have watched her lose - which I still cannot believe! (I want a recount!) I have watched her have sex with both men and women (mostly women). When she orgasms, she utters this unique cry/whine/tremolo combination. Years ago, Harley Davidson tried to copyright the sounds of their motorcycle. Dia should look into copyrighting her orgasm.
A consequence of following Dia has been a deeper introduction to the BDSM side of the adult industry. Dia has made a number of videos in this field. I have watched her in both the top and bottom roles. I have seen her tied, whipped, clamped, drowned, shocked, and buried. I cannot say I am entirely comfortable with some of the scenes she has done, but these have shown me how truly strong she is. The control of a BDSM scene belongs to the bottom - he/she can stop it at any time. Her endurance has impressed the hell out of me. I know I am nowhere near as strong as she is.
When I learned she had a Twitter account, I went to check it out (hey, I may be in my 50's but I'm "hep"). She protects her tweets, so the only way I could look at them was to sign up and ask her. This is the reason why I have a Twitter account (if you look at my account, you will see that she is the first person I ever followed). From reading her tweets I have learned that she is smart, sexy, warm, funny, loyal to her friends, a hard worker, and strangely addicted to taking pictures of a chickenpurse. I consider myself quite fortunate that, although she has over 3200 followers, she will reply to some of the tweets I send her.
Now I don't want you to think I'm some kind of crazed fan/stalker. I just appreciate Dia and enjoy her as a performer and as a person. It's not like I know where she lives (Las Vegas) or the strip club she works at occasionally (Talk of the Town) or some of her earlier careers (marine, musician, waitress in college, graphic designer, office manager, mortgage broker, organizer), or what she takes classes in (Pole dancing, Brazilian Jujitsu). I mean, if I was obsessed I would know what musical instrument she played (french horn), the names of some of her friends (Wenona, Ariel X, Tomiko, Sarah Blake, Paris Kennedy), her "Boo" (Wordman) or even her six cats (Sully, TC, Mozart, Dealer, Hunter and Mitzy). Heck, I would even know the name of her biggest fan in Japan (Takiko).
At least I don't think I am.
BTW - Dia Zerva can be found here. If you don't know her, go check her out (you can thank me later).
Thursday, November 19, 2009
25 Things I Have Learned from Watching Porn
- No matter how disgustingly blank a person is, there is someone out there who will fuck him/her.
- There are women out there wearing butt plugs right now.
- 99% of all women are shaved.
- Surprisingly, so are 50% of the men.
- Nuns and priests have a better sex life than I do.
- There are secret rooms in your neighbors' houses that you don't want to know about.
- All your relatives, in-laws, and neighbors are screwing each other.
- There are sexual fringe benefits to the following professions: babysitter, delivery service, teacher, law enforcement, gardener, pool boy, handyman, waitstaff, cook, servants, postal carriers.
- Be sure to keep your house clean because sooner or later someone will be having sex somewhere in it.
- Have all your furniture scotch-guarded and constantly wipe down every table, counter, and flat surface.
- There are 20-30 year old people still attending high school.
- Be very suspicious if your teen-age children suddenly become straight-A students.
- Be good to your spouse, or he/she will have sex with any number of random people simultaneously.
- Invest in the following growth industries: thong underwear, sex toys, body jewelry, whipped cream, tattoo parlors, leather, and latex.
- If you want a good night's sleep, put a lock on your bedroom door.
- If you see ping pong paddles but no table in your neighbor's house, don't turn your back on them.
- Be sure to wash all fruits and vegetables before consumption.
- Always wear clean underwear, as you never know who will be removing them;
- There's a hidden camera somewhere near you.
- It's very hard to get a woman to remove their stilettos.
- The following statements/questions are sexual come-ons:
Have you seen my dog?
Can I clean the room now?
My blank isn't home right now.
I can't afford that.
Happy Birthday. - There's more hardware in a bedside table than a Home Depot.
- The reaction from someone walking in while you are having sex will not be what you expect.
- Situations that you would expect to hinder your sex life, such as imprisonment or hospitalization, can actually improve it.
- Every man in the world has a larger dick than I do.
Friday, November 13, 2009
For a Dirty Old Man I'm Such an Old Lady (and I don't mean tranny)
I worry about the ladies in the sex industry.
In a previous post, I mentioned that I follow and exchange tweets with a number of women who are involved in the sex/porn industry. While I cannot make generalities about the entire industry, my interactions have shown them to be intelligent, personable, hard working people trying to live life as best they can. (What profession can claim that every member is an "upstanding individual"?). As someone who has looked at a lot of porn, I can't help but hear about the problems that some of the stars have gone through. I worry that those I follow and whose work I have enjoyed could be affected by these influences.
And yes, I am being sexist. I do not include men in my concern because I would expect them to be less endangered. It's the way I am - sue me.
The sex industry in general is looked down upon by large segments of this society. There is a stigma of sleaziness and (for some) criminality applied to the women who work in it. Once identified as an "escort", "porn star" etc., the label stays forever. You don't always see entertainers, sports figures, and other walks of life always identified by what they do (i.e. Madonna, George Clooney, Angelina Jolie, etc.) but it will always be "Porn Star Jenna Jameson". It is hard for anyone to cope with the world when that world is predisposed to judge him or her as inherently bad.
[BTW - I can't stand how sexual content is ostracized but extreme forms of violence are accepted. In film if you show a penis getting mangled it has an "R" rating, but if you show an erect penis: automatic "NC-17"! (Or "XXX" depending on what one does with it) Why is society so paranoid about a natural biological function that is necessary for the continuation of the human race? I think the world would be better if we taught kids how to fuck instead of how to kill.]
I don't need to go into the dangers of AIDS and STD's in an industry based in sex. While there are a lot more safeguards in place today than there were before, no prevention ever 100% effective. There are even reasons for not using condoms in productions (I have read that they cause irritation during long sex scenes shoots and that the buying public prefers to not see them). Most performers get tested monthly and I am sure that each testing period is stressful .
[Another BTW - If you care about what happens to the people in this industry you might consider donating to the Adult Industry Medical Healthcare Foundation (AIM) , a non-profit corporation dedicated to the well-being of sex and adult industry workers. The Bill Gates Foundation and the Pugh Charitable Trust probably aren't donating - maybe you should.]
Some of the people I follow also act as escorts - these are the people I worry about most. Aside from it being illegal, escorts have the potential of putting themselves into harm's way. When you are a performer, you are usually dealing with someone you have worked with before or you know someone who has worked with him/her. Escorting puts you in contact with strangers - any one of which could be dangerous. While the women I follow say they screen their clients, as I've said before nothing is perfect. I live in Boston, so I am quite familiar with the Craigslist Killer - a man who robbed and eventually killed escorts he found on Craigslist. I can't help but think of him whenever I see a tweet about escorting.
If you think I'm exaggerating all this in order to make this entry more dramatic, go to this web site and count the number of deaths due to AIDS, drug use, suicide. and violence. I don't know if these problems occur at a higher rate for sex performers, but it sure seems like it.
It takes an emotionally strong person to be part of the sex industry. They have to handle all the issues I've mentioned and be able to live their lives. All of the women I follow seem to have strong emotional support - husbands, boyfriends, families, and friends (including each other). They seem to be coping with and even thriving in the sex industry.
But it doesn't stop me from worrying about them.
In a previous post, I mentioned that I follow and exchange tweets with a number of women who are involved in the sex/porn industry. While I cannot make generalities about the entire industry, my interactions have shown them to be intelligent, personable, hard working people trying to live life as best they can. (What profession can claim that every member is an "upstanding individual"?). As someone who has looked at a lot of porn, I can't help but hear about the problems that some of the stars have gone through. I worry that those I follow and whose work I have enjoyed could be affected by these influences.
And yes, I am being sexist. I do not include men in my concern because I would expect them to be less endangered. It's the way I am - sue me.
The sex industry in general is looked down upon by large segments of this society. There is a stigma of sleaziness and (for some) criminality applied to the women who work in it. Once identified as an "escort", "porn star" etc., the label stays forever. You don't always see entertainers, sports figures, and other walks of life always identified by what they do (i.e. Madonna, George Clooney, Angelina Jolie, etc.) but it will always be "Porn Star Jenna Jameson". It is hard for anyone to cope with the world when that world is predisposed to judge him or her as inherently bad.
[BTW - I can't stand how sexual content is ostracized but extreme forms of violence are accepted. In film if you show a penis getting mangled it has an "R" rating, but if you show an erect penis: automatic "NC-17"! (Or "XXX" depending on what one does with it) Why is society so paranoid about a natural biological function that is necessary for the continuation of the human race? I think the world would be better if we taught kids how to fuck instead of how to kill.]
I don't need to go into the dangers of AIDS and STD's in an industry based in sex. While there are a lot more safeguards in place today than there were before, no prevention ever 100% effective. There are even reasons for not using condoms in productions (I have read that they cause irritation during long sex scenes shoots and that the buying public prefers to not see them). Most performers get tested monthly and I am sure that each testing period is stressful .
[Another BTW - If you care about what happens to the people in this industry you might consider donating to the Adult Industry Medical Healthcare Foundation (AIM) , a non-profit corporation dedicated to the well-being of sex and adult industry workers. The Bill Gates Foundation and the Pugh Charitable Trust probably aren't donating - maybe you should.]
Some of the people I follow also act as escorts - these are the people I worry about most. Aside from it being illegal, escorts have the potential of putting themselves into harm's way. When you are a performer, you are usually dealing with someone you have worked with before or you know someone who has worked with him/her. Escorting puts you in contact with strangers - any one of which could be dangerous. While the women I follow say they screen their clients, as I've said before nothing is perfect. I live in Boston, so I am quite familiar with the Craigslist Killer - a man who robbed and eventually killed escorts he found on Craigslist. I can't help but think of him whenever I see a tweet about escorting.
If you think I'm exaggerating all this in order to make this entry more dramatic, go to this web site and count the number of deaths due to AIDS, drug use, suicide. and violence. I don't know if these problems occur at a higher rate for sex performers, but it sure seems like it.
It takes an emotionally strong person to be part of the sex industry. They have to handle all the issues I've mentioned and be able to live their lives. All of the women I follow seem to have strong emotional support - husbands, boyfriends, families, and friends (including each other). They seem to be coping with and even thriving in the sex industry.
But it doesn't stop me from worrying about them.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Twitter, Porn Stars and Me
In my pursuit of all things porno, I have a great deal of appreciation for the internet and how it has evolved over the years. I started out with the 30 second porn clips on crude web sites, then moved on to chat rooms on Yahoo, exchanging pictures via email, video chat, and downloading full scenes and movies from torrent sites (I may go into more detail about some of these in a later posting). Being an old fellow, I pretty much ignored social networking - if I didn't know you or haven't talked to you in years, why should I be interested in what you have to say? Sure, I found a couple of interesting sites on MySpace, but it wasn't worth joining the site.
Then I heard about something called twitter, which by its description sounded like the most annoying thing I could think of. Broadcasting messages about yourself indiscriminately on the internet all day long? How conceited is that? Who honestly believes anyone cares about everything they are doing (except Ashton Kutcher)?
What changed my mind was Bill Simmons the Sports Guy (http://twitter.com/sportsguy33). He is a humorous sport columnist who does articles and podcasts for ESPN. At one time he shared my opinion about twitter. Then he started using it to comment on sporting events as they happen and to advertise when new articles and podcasts were posted. I decided to sign up to follow him.
When you sign up for any internet site two things happens: you get spam and you explore all the features. Twitter is rather interesting to explore; you can see who is following and who follows each other. As you jump from person to person, you can get some really interesting glimpses of people (yes, I admit I was wrong). I was just planning on following Bill, but then I picked up on other sites like The Onion (http://twitter.com/TheOnion), Shit my dad says (http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays) and other funny posters.
One day, out of curiosity, I typed in one of my favorite porn star's name. Much to my surprise, I found her. And then I looked at who she follows. And so on.
I had to get me some of this.
The first thing I did was make a new twitter account just for the purpose of following adult actresses - I don't really want people to know what I do in my spare time (I might want to run for public office someday - HA!). I then started following some of the stars. A portion of their tweets are announcements of appearances, updates to their pay websites, etc. But I found out a lot of interesting things:
So what the heck, I tweeted them.
And they tweet me back! One actually follows ME!
I'm not after any kind of a sexual thrill from these interactions. I just like having conversations with them. I know it isn't really friendship, but we have back and forth tweets and I can make them laugh. I'm glad I have the opportunity to know them beyond what I've seen. And who knows, maybe they’re glad to know me?
Then I heard about something called twitter, which by its description sounded like the most annoying thing I could think of. Broadcasting messages about yourself indiscriminately on the internet all day long? How conceited is that? Who honestly believes anyone cares about everything they are doing (except Ashton Kutcher)?
What changed my mind was Bill Simmons the Sports Guy (http://twitter.com/sportsguy33). He is a humorous sport columnist who does articles and podcasts for ESPN. At one time he shared my opinion about twitter. Then he started using it to comment on sporting events as they happen and to advertise when new articles and podcasts were posted. I decided to sign up to follow him.
When you sign up for any internet site two things happens: you get spam and you explore all the features. Twitter is rather interesting to explore; you can see who is following and who follows each other. As you jump from person to person, you can get some really interesting glimpses of people (yes, I admit I was wrong). I was just planning on following Bill, but then I picked up on other sites like The Onion (http://twitter.com/TheOnion), Shit my dad says (http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays) and other funny posters.
One day, out of curiosity, I typed in one of my favorite porn star's name. Much to my surprise, I found her. And then I looked at who she follows. And so on.
I had to get me some of this.
The first thing I did was make a new twitter account just for the purpose of following adult actresses - I don't really want people to know what I do in my spare time (I might want to run for public office someday - HA!). I then started following some of the stars. A portion of their tweets are announcements of appearances, updates to their pay websites, etc. But I found out a lot of interesting things:
- Most of them have pets that they post pictures of on Twitter pix sites
- They have incredible travel schedules and the usual travel problems: late flights, lost luggage, etc.
- They like to eat
- They like to kid around with their friends
- Some are married with kids or are in a steady relationship
So what the heck, I tweeted them.
And they tweet me back! One actually follows ME!
I'm not after any kind of a sexual thrill from these interactions. I just like having conversations with them. I know it isn't really friendship, but we have back and forth tweets and I can make them laugh. I'm glad I have the opportunity to know them beyond what I've seen. And who knows, maybe they’re glad to know me?
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Porn Themes I Don’t Like (First in a Series)
The internet has opened a vast array of porn to the average web surfer. I, being an above average surfer, have found almost more than I can handle. Just as impressive as the amount of porn available is the variety. Frankly, I have seen things I never knew existed. Some of these remind me of the old joke that the bravest person in the history of the world was the first person who drank milk (See those things hanging below that animal? I’m going over there and pull on them and whatever comes out, I’m going to drink!). I would love to know what prompted the first people who ever did some of this stuff.
As a discriminating consumer, I have compiled a list of what I like and what I don’t like. I will be sharing both lists over time, as the variety of available themes far exceeds what should go in a single blog post (you can tell from my previous posts I am fairly long-winded and addicted to asides). Use these list to judge if, should you ever meet me, you would say “Pleased to meet you” and share a cup of coffee or you would beat me over the head violently with a dead skunk – which by the way is on my list of dislikes.
I’m not saying that these themes should be outlawed. Any consensual act between people that does not do permanent harm should not be anyone’s business (I draw the line at such things as mutilation and child porn). I’m just saying that sites that advertise things such as “Watch me fuck an iguana” will not be getting my viewership.
So, in no particular order, my dislikes:
Facials
I know these are the ending shot of almost every video that has a guy in it, but they just don’t appeal to me. Frankly, I feel that they are very disrespectful to the person receiving. I understand that seeing the male orgasm is required viewing (here’s a question: why?), but to see his partner’s face turned into a gooey mess just detracts from my enjoyment. Give me the belly shot, the pearl necklace, or just pull out and cum on her ass - my favorite. There’s something about seeing a load on a round bottom that I find appealing.
Gang Bangs
I don’t understand the attraction to these. You don’t get a very good look at the girl. There are always guys jacking off in the background. It doesn’t look very comfortable at all for anybody. And the final shot is almost always a bunch of guys practically drowning the poor girl in sperm.
A variation to this is the “how many men can the star handle “videos (I.e. “The Houston 500”). It isn’t really my idea of fucking (six pumps, bring in the next guy). How anyone can get a woody from that is beyond me.
Extreme Anal
Similar to facials, a high percentage of male/female videos have anal sex in them. Now, I can accept that there must be some kind of sexual satisfaction for the bottom, seeing that it is a major part of male gay sex. I admit getting turned on by the up-against-the-wall pull-up-the-skirt pull-down the thong get-down-to-it scenario. I also admit there are videos with women that have a reasonably sized butt plug in them that do it for me (there is one Gauge and Aurora Snow video where the plug has a horse tail that is just outstanding). However, there are limits. First, whatever is going up there should be smaller than a ping pong ball. Second, I am really turned off when they have shots where the asshole is the size of a manhole. Finally, the shot where the girl is forcing the sperm back out? Is that really necessary?
Fisting
The thought of turning a person into a hand puppet doesn’t do a thing for me. Four fingers – that’s the limit.
Scat
Peeing and crapping on each other? Yuck! (Again, who first came up with this?)
By the way, I have seen the infamous “Two Girls and a Cup” video. I don’t know if it is because I’m not surprised by how people can behave or because I have a strong stomach, but I didn’t scream or cover my eyes or run out of the room. I didn’t get any kind of enjoyment out of it, but it didn’t get to me.
Overuse of Blowjobs
Look, I enjoy watching a good blowjob. There are a number of women out there that do a tremendous job. But it is only one aspect of porn. I want to get to the fucking in a reasonable amount of time. When the blowjob portion is over half the length of the video it is too much. And many times, after an extremely long blow job finally leads to some screwing, they go back and do some more! Enough is enough!
As an aside, I would like to confess here that I have never gotten one. Yup, 54 years old and never been sucked. It is the only thing on my bucket list (Meeting the president vs. getting a blowjob? Let me just drop trou). Perhaps this is a factor in my dislike of prolonged bj scenes.
Close-ups of Genitalia
I get that the major difference between softcore and hardcore porn is actually showing dicks and pussies. But ten straight minutes of looking at a close-up of a guy’s hairy butt and dangling balls? No thank you. Give me a long shot. Heaving bodies and facial reactions all at once – now you’re talking!
To be continued …
As a discriminating consumer, I have compiled a list of what I like and what I don’t like. I will be sharing both lists over time, as the variety of available themes far exceeds what should go in a single blog post (you can tell from my previous posts I am fairly long-winded and addicted to asides). Use these list to judge if, should you ever meet me, you would say “Pleased to meet you” and share a cup of coffee or you would beat me over the head violently with a dead skunk – which by the way is on my list of dislikes.
I’m not saying that these themes should be outlawed. Any consensual act between people that does not do permanent harm should not be anyone’s business (I draw the line at such things as mutilation and child porn). I’m just saying that sites that advertise things such as “Watch me fuck an iguana” will not be getting my viewership.
So, in no particular order, my dislikes:
Facials
I know these are the ending shot of almost every video that has a guy in it, but they just don’t appeal to me. Frankly, I feel that they are very disrespectful to the person receiving. I understand that seeing the male orgasm is required viewing (here’s a question: why?), but to see his partner’s face turned into a gooey mess just detracts from my enjoyment. Give me the belly shot, the pearl necklace, or just pull out and cum on her ass - my favorite. There’s something about seeing a load on a round bottom that I find appealing.
Gang Bangs
I don’t understand the attraction to these. You don’t get a very good look at the girl. There are always guys jacking off in the background. It doesn’t look very comfortable at all for anybody. And the final shot is almost always a bunch of guys practically drowning the poor girl in sperm.
A variation to this is the “how many men can the star handle “videos (I.e. “The Houston 500”). It isn’t really my idea of fucking (six pumps, bring in the next guy). How anyone can get a woody from that is beyond me.
Extreme Anal
Similar to facials, a high percentage of male/female videos have anal sex in them. Now, I can accept that there must be some kind of sexual satisfaction for the bottom, seeing that it is a major part of male gay sex. I admit getting turned on by the up-against-the-wall pull-up-the-skirt pull-down the thong get-down-to-it scenario. I also admit there are videos with women that have a reasonably sized butt plug in them that do it for me (there is one Gauge and Aurora Snow video where the plug has a horse tail that is just outstanding). However, there are limits. First, whatever is going up there should be smaller than a ping pong ball. Second, I am really turned off when they have shots where the asshole is the size of a manhole. Finally, the shot where the girl is forcing the sperm back out? Is that really necessary?
Fisting
The thought of turning a person into a hand puppet doesn’t do a thing for me. Four fingers – that’s the limit.
Scat
Peeing and crapping on each other? Yuck! (Again, who first came up with this?)
By the way, I have seen the infamous “Two Girls and a Cup” video. I don’t know if it is because I’m not surprised by how people can behave or because I have a strong stomach, but I didn’t scream or cover my eyes or run out of the room. I didn’t get any kind of enjoyment out of it, but it didn’t get to me.
Overuse of Blowjobs
Look, I enjoy watching a good blowjob. There are a number of women out there that do a tremendous job. But it is only one aspect of porn. I want to get to the fucking in a reasonable amount of time. When the blowjob portion is over half the length of the video it is too much. And many times, after an extremely long blow job finally leads to some screwing, they go back and do some more! Enough is enough!
As an aside, I would like to confess here that I have never gotten one. Yup, 54 years old and never been sucked. It is the only thing on my bucket list (Meeting the president vs. getting a blowjob? Let me just drop trou). Perhaps this is a factor in my dislike of prolonged bj scenes.
Close-ups of Genitalia
I get that the major difference between softcore and hardcore porn is actually showing dicks and pussies. But ten straight minutes of looking at a close-up of a guy’s hairy butt and dangling balls? No thank you. Give me a long shot. Heaving bodies and facial reactions all at once – now you’re talking!
To be continued …
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